Macca's living on Planet Donut

BEWILDERED football fans up and down the country were asking last night: “What PLANET is Steve McClaren on?”

The hapless England boss — dubbed Steve McDonut in The Sun yesterday — is in denial about how useless his team are. Despite the fact they have gone five games without a win, scoring just once in the process.

The players were booed off by their own supporters in Tel Aviv after Saturday’s 0-0 draw with Israel which left the national team struggling to qualify for the Euro 2008 finals.

Fans chanted: “What a load of rubbish” before directing personal abuse at McClaren, while 300 walked out at half-time. Yet the former Middlesbrough boss yesterday dismissed the criticism of both the 5,000 travelling diehards and the media — insisting he dealt in “reality, not perception”.

Incredibly he also claimed that “nothing radical” needed to be done to his misfiring team to make it successful.

McClaren rambled: “When you are at the game you don’t see it properly, so you can’t just go on what you have seen. You have to look at it again.

“I have to deal in reality not perception. The reality is we had more possession, the reality is we had 17 chances, the reality is we had nine shots on target and that’s the reality. But we did not convert them.

“You can criticise the fact we didn’t score but you can’t criticise the attitude and performance. The players wanted to win that game.

“Lack of confidence hasn’t been our problem. We got in situations but the execution wasn’t there. Sometimes it doesn’t work out for you and you don’t score. I am not doubting we should do better.

“I know that, the players know that, and the fans do.

“I can understand the frustration and disappointment because, believe you me, I felt exactly the same.

“But the only thing missing against Israel was goals.

“We can be better, we are trying everything and we talked about it last week. But they did everything on Saturday that we wanted.”

That claim flies in the face of the fact McClaren tore into star striker Wayne Rooney in the changing room, telling him he had not done it for England since Euro 2004.

Manchester United hero Rooney’s last competitive goals for his country were more than 2½ years ago.

McClaren, whose team take on minnows Andorra in Barcelona tomorrow, claims there is no rift with Rooney — but did not deny he got stuck into him after the Israel match.

“I’m not going to single out any individual player for criticism,” he said. “It’s an overall thing that we all need to improve on. All the top players live on the edge. Wayne Rooney knows what to do.

“There’s not a fallout with Rooney, but what happens in the dressing room stays in the dressing room. It’s private.

“At the end of the day we had 17 efforts on goal — 17!

“I can’t count how many situations we had that we failed to make the best of — and nine of them were on target.

“I believe that if you get that kind of performance and have 17 efforts on goal you’re going to win games.

“We will keep going and keep going because eventually we will produce. I believe that, I do. We will produce.

“You’ve got to have great faith and belief in your players and I do. When I look at that on Saturday, there is nothing radical needed, apart from sticking the ball in the net — and that’s not radical.”

But despite 45-year-old McClaren’s protests, an online petition urging Tony Blair to get him axed as England boss was gathering pace last night.

Angry fan Simon Chapman wrote: “We the undersigned petition the PM to use his remaining days and power to force the FA to sack Steve McClaren as England manager.”

He posted the call to arms on the 10 Downing Street website and hundreds rushed to add their virtual signature.

Three Lions fans have until May 15 to back the campaign.

The petition adds: “Steve McClaren was part of the previous regime that saw England’s football team become boring and passionless.

“He has continued this and even built on it so Sven Goran Eriksson looks great and charismatic in comparison.”